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10 paces

May 3, 2009

 A battle was brewing of epic per portions , you see a income tax return check was on the horizon and  the battle lines where clearly being drawn ( our favorite time of the year) .

 On one side is the wife and for her , this has always been like a second Christmas and she  was looking forward to stimulating the economy , As for myself I feel we should take advantage of the lower prices and invest !

    After some mild bickering the wife suggested we divide the check so that each of us would be satisfied. I felt this was totally ridicules and knew it would never work.

I instead suggested we go out back  and settle this with my 19th century dueling pistols , winner take all  ( I had been drinking )

The wife agreed but complained that she had never fired a pistol before , so being a good sport I decided to teach her how to duel.

  Soon we found our self’s standing in the field next to “Rusty ” the family scare crow. I pinned a heart on the effigy to indicate where she would be aiming . she walked over and placed  a carrot in Rusty’s trousers and giggled.

stop messing around I scolded , this is serious ! she only smiled and faced away from Rusty with her pistol pointing straight up in the air.

I intructed her to take ten paces , turn , fire and aim straight for the heart . I then proceeded to count out aloud ONE..TWO …THREE ………..BLAM! , the shot had split the carrot in two !

“well,   he’s not the man his father was that’s for sure ” she teased .

 As I watched her investigate the now mutilated carrot , I can only wonder which is more concerning , her poor marksmanship or the fact the daft girlie can’t count to ten ?……..~Dave

2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 11, 2009 1:34 am

    I used to have similiar conversations with Aggie and it never worked out well, David.

    You can bicker all you like but in the end you’re going to lose so you may as well just sign the check over and be done with it. If you’re lucky, maybe you can negotiate a case of beer for yourself.

    I like your approach though. Nobody duels anymore and it’s a damned dramatic way to settle a disagreement.

    Again, though, you want to be careful. Counting to three and splitting the carrot in half is no accident – it’s a not so subtle message that your Mrs. is serious! Damned serious.

    Well done, David. I enjoyed this a lot.


  2. May 12, 2009 1:17 am


    thanks for coming by, while I am tempted to bargain for said case of beer , I feel it’s already too late for that. My mistake was throwing all my chips in at once, tricky business bargaining when one’s carrot is involved !

    will see you soon ..~Dave

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